A friend is someone to enjoy activities with, in which someone can share, hang out together, laugh with each other, accept them of who he/she is, and stand up for each other, and some people can be friends for a long time. Friendship for anyone, whether if someone is autistic or not, is crucial to his/her development as a social individual since it develops his/her social skills, provides social & emotional support, gives a sense of belonging, and makes him/her her happier & healthier.
Friendships also affect cardiovascular & immune system, stress response & cognitive health, and someone with strong social connections survive longer. However, someone with autism doesn’t receive the same amount of luxury as its neurotypical counterpart.
People affected by ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) have difficulties at developing friendships because of the difficulties in starting & keeping a conversation going, working out what others think & feel, taking part in activities involving his/her peers, understanding facial expression & body language, adjusting to new social situations & solving social problems.
They also have difficulties in processing social information effectively which can interfere with building deep relationships with others, which caused them to feel less contentment in shared activities.
In addition, people suffering from autism also may not know what/how to say something, experience anxiety in some social situations, have difficulties in compromising & coping with changes in routines, lack confidence in his/her abilities, have trauma from past friendship experience, have difficulties with understanding his/her own emotion, & experience constant pressure to fulfill the expectations to maintain friendships with others.
Social interactions are stressful for someone with ASD because it overwhelms & frustrates him/her when trying to develop & sustain friendships. Making friends are also frightening & confusing to them, hence the reason why they need lots of time & effort to develop the social skills required for interacting with each other in order to develop friendships.
Core impairments of someone with ASD significantly affect social relationships, in which he/she has difficulties understanding mental states of others & predicting their actions, has impaired executive functioning that affects his/her problem solving, planning, flexibility, orientation & attention shifting, as well as weak central coherence in which it affected the ability to consider others’ perspective, perceive & understand social & emotional cues, as well as flexibility in social matters.
The fact is, people with ASD really want friends and can be friends with neurotypical people, but they tend to be lonelier than their neurotypical counterparts, which contributes to depression & anxiety. In terms of quality of friendships, someone within this spectrum has poorer quality in terms of companionship & support than neurotypical people, which translates to limited social networks.
Some people often view someone with autism as not interested in connecting with his/her peers due to sensory overload, overstimulation, struggle to focus on the conversation, repetitive movements (rocking, hand flapping, etc) in order to manage his/her anxiety & uncertainty, all of which makes him/her feel ignored. In a relationship, people with autism are loyal, reliable, committed, honest, have a unique sense of humor, and enjoy sharing information related to his/her interest.
People with this disorder also struggle with miscommunication, which makes it even harder to make & maintain friends because his/her brain isn’t wired to pick up, incorporate & use his/her surrounding social information effectively.
Someone with ASD is more likely to be a target for bullying than its neurotypical counterpart, because bullies tend to pick on someone that’s quiet & lack friendship skills, behaves differently, & has different interests, trends & styles from most people. They also lack knowledge of how to join a group and might act inappropriately & have difficulties figuring out who’s the good/bad guy within their peers.
Lots of people within this spectrum experience social isolation because they prefer to be alone & enjoy it, have the feeling that other people aren’t welcoming & don’t want to interact with him/them, lack confidence/skills to engage with others, have difficulties in maintaining contacts from lack of understanding of small talk & other social behaviors, need a higher level of support for activities than family, friends or aides & has fear of repeating past mistakes in social situations.
To deal with this, he/she needs to plan & develop social interactions, learn things to manage his/her anxiety, find social groups & meet new people. Also, due to having a strong interest in a particular area, clubs & communities involving someone with similar interests, whether it’s online or offline, are great places to find friends for him/her.
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